A Lecture in Debunking 

How to show people that you know what you’re talking about and make them look like idiots:

The only rule; take stupid statements one at a time. Don’t try to disprove everything at once. I will give you a flowing example on how to disprove bullshit. logic is your biggest weapon.  Example: “I saw the ghost of a little girl Saturday.” Do not say, “Ghosts don’t exist,” for that is too broad and too much of an aggressor. Instead say, “Couldn’t it just have been a little girl?” or, “Were you on drugs that day?” or, “How do you know it was a ghost?” Remember, to debunk statements, you have to ask questions.

He/she will most likely answer with a ridiculous statement. In our example, something like, “She was transparent,” or, “She was wearing a white, Victorian dress” or, “She had no eyes. (This is important later)” To the first statement, imply drug use or optical illusion. The latter will probably stand up better unless the person you’re trying to disprove the statements of takes acid. If he/she, in fact, take acid, you can end it there. To the second statement, reply, “Is it weird to wear a white dress now? I’ve worn white dresses.” Stay vague. If he/she pushes the “white, Victorian dress,” say that vintage clothes are all the rage now. Or that some people’s style doesn’t change. To prove your point, wear a white, Victorian dress the next day. Or pull up an eBay for one.

The person will most likely be starting to get pissed off and defensive. “I know what I saw,” he/she’ll say.  Now ask them where he/she saw her from. Perception has a lot to do with what you say next. Should he/she answer, “I was right next to her,” promptly call them a liar and, as for reasoning, say that he/she would be scared shitless if he/she was next to ghost. You would be correct in this statement. Most likely, he/she will answer the perception question with, “She was on the second story of a building. I was on the street looking up.” This is key for this argument and smaller ones later on. She couldn’t have seen it clearly. Bring this fact up, and he/she will repeat what he/she has said so far. You’ve suddenly found an inconsistency.

Say, “No eyes, right?” or, “White, Victorian dress, right?” or, “Transparent, right?” Remember; don’t ask about things he/she hasn’t mentioned. There is no reason to. If he/she says something about her being eye-less, then don’t ask about her being transparent. These three go in very different directions, so I’ll try to break it down simply into three separate paragraphs:

If you say, “You said it didn’t have eyes, correct?” he/she will answer “Yes.” Smirk at them. This shows your confidence and overall correctness. “Looking up from street level?” you affirm. “Yes,” again. Point out the seemingly random fact that the eyes are set further back in the face than the cheeks. Now bring up the fact that when you tell stories around a campfire, people use flashlights under their chins to create an “eye-less” effect. Now say that, looking up at someone from street level, their cheeks would appear to cast an upward shadow onto their eyes, making the same “eye-less” effect as at camp.

If you say, “It was wearing a white, Victorian dress, right?” he/she will answer “Yes.” Again, the correct action is to smirk. “What makes a dress Victorian?” “Well, the draping fabric and all those embroideries of different designs.” “Intricate, aren’t they?” He/she will nod. Now you tease them with a bit of your knowledge. “You know, I may have 20/20 vision, but I couldn’t see those details ten feet from a person, let alone a half-shown torso in a window on the second story of a building. You’re eyesight must be amazing.” If your friend wears glasses, this point is even more valid. Another point for them gone.

If you say, “She was transparent?” he/she will answer, “Yes.” Pull a random person over to you. Ask them to seriously unfocus their eyes. Now ask them if your hand appears transparent while in that unfocused state. If he/she has normal human eyesight, he/she will say yes. Turn to your friend and point at them. Laugh hardily. You have won for now, but what’s this? He/she is unfazed? Here comes the counterattack.

“That old building is haunted! Girl Scouts go there all the time because of the ghosts!” Now you can laugh even harder. He/she’s stupid way of trying to prove a point was a blessing in disguise. Sum things up out loud, to let him/her hear how stupid that was. “So, you’re telling me that you saw a little girl, in a building where little girls go often, and she’s a ghost?” In our example, he/she keeps going. “But she was alone!” “How do you know that? All you could see was her through the window.” “I could sense it.” At this point, you are not required to answer anything but, “Bullshit,” or, “You can’t sense shit.” Now you may walk away, with your sanity intact and your intelligence defended. Oh, and you made him/her feel like a complete idiot and jackass. Enjoy you’re newfound power over simpletons.

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